i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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