I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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