So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
