did you get engaged???
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
