How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
