did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
