i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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