I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
