i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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