Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
