thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
