i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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