I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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