took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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