***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
