i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
