Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
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