Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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