i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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