jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
