So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
