He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
