Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
