My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize