It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
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