2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
