Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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