I want to have your abortion
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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