So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
