dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
