look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
