her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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