We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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