She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
