There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
