You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
