Plan B is the new Plan A
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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