That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
