quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
