I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
