this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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