I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize