If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
