WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
