There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
