And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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