Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
