Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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