Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
