You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
