Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
