haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
